Size Matters

I’ve been crazy busy the past couple of weeks, so finding time to blog has been challenging. But I figure I need to post something so this is really just an observation about a common idea in dom/sub dynamics.

Size matters.

Now I don’t mean dick size or tit size or ass size or even height. What I mean is that mental size matters.

Let me explain. It is very common for subs to crave a feeling of being smaller than their dom. They often want to feel less important, less conspicuous, less powerful, and just generally less than their dom. They want to feel overpowered, overshadowed, deprioritized, and insignificant in comparison to the man they serve. That doesn’t necessarily mean unimportant to him, just unimportant relative to Him. Because subs are focusing on their Dom’s happiness and pleasure, it makes sense to them that He is more important than they are.

You can see this is all sort of ways. Subs often prefer to kneel or to sit on the floor, making themselves physically lower and in perspective smaller than their dom. In d/s artwork, there is a strong tendency for subs to be depicted as physically smaller than doms; often a Twink is paired with a Muscle Bear.

One of the most common terms for a submissive man–‘boy’–implies that the sub is physically immature and therefore smaller. Age-discordant relationships are relatively common among gay kinksters, with the sub usually being younger than the dom. The older man is metaphorically larger in age, knowledge, and experience than the sub. Some kinksters enjoy Adult Baby/Diaper play, which similarly creates a sense of physical, mental, and emotional immaturity. Pup play can achieve something similar by positioning the pup physically beneath the handler and the emphasis in pup play on careful playfulness may also speak to a sense of the pup being immature and therefore carefree.

In fact, the sense that size is correlated to importance has a long history in artwork. In ancient Egyptian and Medieval artwork, it is common to depict a ruler as being literally taller than their subjects. So this is realty just another manifestation of a fairly common mode of thinking about power.

3 thoughts on “Size Matters

  1. Hi Hadrian,

    Was wondering where you were. My first Master Todd, was a brickhouse of a man, and i was a scrawny 26 year old boy, then. He was older by some years, and larger in stature, but his kindness marked who he was. Great in all the ways one would want from any Master.

    it’s about to embark on a new relationship with a new Master. Neil is his name, but He calls himself its Lord and Master. He also, is a brickhouse of a man. He is a sturdy man with a body it can melt into. it is his slave, and we connected on so many levels. This weekend is our first BDSM encounter, which it is looking forward to. He asked it last night, if it was into types, or if his appearance would change its view of him, if that appearance or his body changed.

    it was never into types, that was not its goal. Todd fell into its lap as a fluke and Lord and Master came to it also by fluke, he came looking for slave. So no, it doesn’t do types, it is the man who fills the package. if the package holds a good human, then it has no issues. it told him we all change and if that happened, if he remained who he was, what he looked like would not matter. As long as he cared for slave and never tosses it to the curb.

    a sub has power, it chooses to give to the man who is worthy of holding it. and it does not give its power away to just any man who calls himself Master. There are douchebags out there, so buyer beware.

    it just happened to luck out twice in my life, and as it was told the other day, “Do Not Pass up an opportunity or you will pay more than you ever imagined !!”



    1. Good luck with your new Lord and Master! I hope it goes well.

      I live in Milwaukee. Why do you ask?


      1. Hello, it has been some time since your last post, so it thinks of you often, that’s all.


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