I’m a gay man in my early 50s. I’ve been actively exploring kink for more than a decade and somewhat unconsciously exploring it for much longer. I became a leatherman early in that process and although I don’t get to wear my leathers as much as I would like, it’s still an important part of my identity. (And yes, that’s me in the thumbnail at the top of the blog.)
When I began my exploration, I was, as most people are, overwhelmed by the range of options in kink. Fortunately, a couple of good friends explained some basic concepts to me and pointed me toward good books to help me make sense of things. A friend of a friend also turned out to be a very experienced bondage dom and leatherman, and he mentored me for a while, teaching me skills I still use to this day.
But it turns out that I was one of the lucky ones. I quickly found guidance that helped me sort out healthy practice from dangerous fantasies and gave me a solid foundation for my sexual adventures. A lot of other people, it turns out, aren’t so lucky. So I’ve committed myself to educating people about healthy bdsm, both online, in person, and in my erotica.
In my explorations, I read a lot of erotica and watched a lot of porn dealing with gay bdsm. (I still do.) I quickly realized that a lot of it is not only poorly written but also perpetuates dangerous ideas about bdsm. A lot of it is written by straight women who have, to be charitable, rather odd ideas about both gay relationships and kinky. And most of it is focused on the sub’s experience, which just sort of excludes readers like me who are dominant.
So, in the spirit of being the change I wish to see in the world, I started writing the sort of erotica I wanted to read. That’s what this blog is for–to promote my erotica and to give me a platform to discuss a variety of kink issues I care a great deal about.